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Fearful, negative news - it's everywhere these days: "FINANCIAL CRISIS, JOB LAYOFFS, CONTINUED ECONOMIC DOWNTURN, TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS, IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE . . ." It used to be that managing a healthy weight was the number one wellness concern of the people I talked to. Today, it's practically unanimous, how to cope with STRESS is at the top of the list. So I'm going to talk to you about exactly what stress is, and give you some powerful pointers that will help you regain your sense of balance and control. WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress, in its most basic definition, is how a person responds to change. Stress, of itself, is not tension or anxiety. Emotions come from how a person perceives the change, as either good or bad.
The physical process that happens in the body in response to stress is a release of adrenaline. It is chronic high adrenaline levels that can cause stress-related physical damage such as: heart disease, stroke, suppressed immune system, diabetes, ulcers and digestive issues, skin and hair problems, arthritis, headaches, and high blood pressure. A person's response to stress can also result in challenged relationships, mental and emotional turmoil, lack of clarity in thought processes, inefficiency at work, and other problems.
At the root, stress is that "fight or flight" response with the accompanying physical manifestation of a rush of adrenaline to ready one's body for action. But our bodies are not meant to maintain that long-term, it is supposed to be a short-term biological process.
For example, think about watching a nature program on TV showing a herd of zebras being stalked by a lion. The zebras are out there grazing, calm (unstressed). Then they become aware of the lion. Boom - their instinct says "run!" and they take off, running flat out to escape, hearts pounding, adrenaline rushing. Then the lion catches one. The hunt is over. The lion is still there, but the perception of danger is gone. The zebras stop running, and go back to calmly grazing while the lion munches on his dinner. This all happens within just a few minutes of time. Now think about what would happen to that herd of zebras if they just kept running flat out even after the lion stopped chasing them. How long would it be before they collapsed?
To put this back in human terms: When a stress response is triggered and sustained for long periods of time, the body is trapped in a biological state of emergency. NOT ALL STRESS IS BAD
"Stress" is the body's non-specific response to any demand placed on it.
A "stressor" is any external stimulus that causes a physiological or behavioral change in a person.
And a "stress response" is how a person responds to a stressor.
Not all stressors are bad, such as landing a really great contract that you wanted, planning a wedding, or going on vacation. In its positive form, stress can be motivating, and help you maintain focus. Without stimulation, the mind and body break down. Just look at people who retire but don't replace their work time with other activities that they enjoy and value. They wither up and die.
The determination of stress being "good" or "bad" is really tied to a person's stress response. Some things we can control, and other things we can't. This is a fact that will not change. But your perception of the stressors and the way you respond to them can be changed.
For example, the thing that can really get me steamed up: someone driving slow in the left lane causing a traffic bottleneck. I can react with anger and frustration, or instead put something I enjoy listening to in the CD player, take a deep breath, look out at the scenery, and let it go. The stressor is the same, but the stress reaction has been changed from negative to positive.
This is not to say that everything can be painted with a rosy tint. Some stressors will bring a painful or negative stress response, such as illness, death, disappointment, financial worries, or family issues.
This is where "stress management" comes into play. Not to say that stressors will be eliminated, but how you respond can be managed so that the negative physical and emotional results are diminished.
Do not expect to change the habits of a lifetime over-night. Your stress responses are the product of your upbringing and life experiences up until now. So the first step to making positive changes is to acknowledge that, and then begin to pay attention and be aware of how you react to different stressors.
DO YOU APPROACH OR AVOID?
Your answer can tell you which coping style you adopt. People generally fall into two basic categories of reaction to stress:
- Approachers want to know everything they can about the situation, questioning and worrying. They can't rest until the problem is dealt with.
- Avoiders tend to push things away. They deal with problems by withdrawing from them.
Neither of these responses is right or wrong. Avoiders tend to cope best with short-term crisis situations, while Approachers seem to handle long-term stress better. Knowing which type you are can help you choose stress-reduction techniques that fit your style.
AVOIDERS NEED QUIET TIME
If you're an Avoider, you tend to handle stress by blocking out the external world. Meditation, reading, taking a quiet walk, or a hot bath can be effective stress reducers for you.
You may need special help though--such as biofeedback--in recognizing your body's reaction to stress, since you may tend not to be aware of it on your own. You may also need the help of a therapist or support group if a serious crisis comes along such as the death of a spouse or loss of a job.
Some Avoiders can be drawn to drugs and alcohol to escape their problems, so make sure to focus on healthy ways to deal with your stressors, and don't isolate yourself from supportive friends.
APPROACHERS NEED ACTION If you're an Approacher, you tend to "stew" over your circumstances, and feel upset in situations you can't control. Try taking a solution-oriented approach: Write down your worries as they arise, then set them aside. At an appropriate time, allow yourself time to go over them and find solutions.
You are likely very aware of your symptoms of stress--jitters, butterflies in the stomach, or tense muscles. Exercise can help you relieve this physical tension. But focus on exercise that requires concentration, like tennis or racquetball, instead of activities that allow you to replay your worries in your mind.
ENJOY IT
Regardless of your coping type, you can manage your stress effectively by choosing relaxation activities that you look forward to, enjoy doing, and that help you feel better afterward. ACTION PLAN: Track Your Stress Reaction Keep a "Stress Journal" to track your stress reactions for two weeks. (If you use my Virtual Coaching Office, you have an online tracker that you can record your notes in.) Record the following details and look for common themes:
- Triggers: What stressors are you experiencing?
- Details: time frequency, who you are with, what you are doing
- Response: How did you cope or react? How did you feel before and after this coping mechanism?
What may be a more positive way to respond to your stressors? Explore the idea of different activities you can use to relieve your stress reaction based on either the Approach or Avoid response. Try one new activity and see how you feel afterwards - did you enjoy it? did it help you feel better?
STRESS-REDUCING EXERCISE: Chi (Energy) Breathing
To help gain control over your stress response and restore a sense of calm and relaxation, do this breathing exercise for 5 minutes while seated in a quiet and comfortable place.Close your eyes. Picture a peaceful, beautiful landscape, like the ocean, mountains, a gentle waterfall, or flower-filled meadow. Put your mouth into a soft smile. Place your right hand in the middle of your chest and your left hand on your abdomen, right below your ribs and above your belly button. Inhale slowly through your nostrils from the bottom up, so that you feel your left hand move out first, immediately followed by your right hand moving out. As you inhale, picture the air filling your whole body with a clear emerald green light. Exhale slowly and completely through your mouth. As you exhale, picture all your worries and tension leaving your body in a gray cloud that floats away into space. To finish the exercise, imagine your whole body surrounded by a warm, rose-colored light, and gently open your eyes. My heart to yours, Karen Twitter: @KarenShackles http://www.coachingbykaren.com/ Leave a comment here to let me know how this information has helped you, and you could be selected to receive a free coaching session and your own personal action plan.
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